Category Archives: wtf mate?

Give Us Some Cleav With That Wink, Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin may as well have been bent over the podium, showing us her naughty bits at the VP debate tonight. Her winks, folksy lingo, and complete exploitation of her appearance do not belong in a political arena. Save that shit for the pageant stage, lady.

Beyond her exceptionally annoying presence, her talking points were transparent and unprompted. Palin’s ability to completely swerve around the issues actually amazes me. She would address Gwen Ifill’s question for a couple seconds (if that) and then get on her soapbox and talk about energy in Alaska. I’m all for cutting oil costs, but could we hear her talk about her experience on another topic? Please?

Her constant efforts to be “just like you and me” are sickening and hypocritical. On the topic of education tonight, she listed off her numerous family members that are currently or have previously been teachers. Since when have Republicans ever improved the state of education in our country? She’s basically saying, “I have a lot of teacher friends… but I don’t intend to improve their quality of life! Or their children’s!”

She also claimed to be an advocate for women’s rights… yeah since you’re trying to overturn Roe v. Wade and make our bodies property of the government. Uh huh. Oh, and she also suddenly supports gay rights… that’s on the record, right?

It seemed the McCain camp gave her a to-do list of things to make sure to mention before the debate ends. This would explain how she’d be asked a question… then proclaim “well, I’m going to talk about Afghanistan” or “well, I’m going to discuss my executive experience.” She is terrified to go off-script! I bet she wishes she had those index cards on hand for steely-eyed Katie Couric!

Finally… anyone else SO sick of this talk of “change” from the Conservatives? What would change? They have yet to give lucid examples… maybe if they repeat the word three (or seventy) times and click their heels…

P.S. The polar bear pictured above is not endangered. His melting habitat is cyclical!

Bristol Palin Is Up The Spout

In light of scandalous rumors about Sarah Palin faking her pregnancy with Trig to cover for her teenage daughter, the VP-nominee has come out and announced her daughter’s current pregnancy, which is five months along. Of course Bristol will be keeping the child and marrying the fellow high school student… because they’re totes meant to be, and it definitely has nothing to do with Governor Palin upholding her good Christian image and appealing to anti-abortion voters.

Deciding on another incense-inspired name will probably be the hardest part of the pregnancy. Sandalwood?

Barracuda for VP?

Should anything happen to John McCain if he were elected president… this bimbo would run our country. Whatttt? This woman was the mayor of my uncle’s teeny town in Alaska (Wasilla) three years ago! Hence, ZERO experience dealing with any issues (except maybe some pesky grizzly bears), a measly BA from Idaho, a beauty pageant past, and a nickname of “Barracuda.” SCARY SHIT. And any discussion about her breaking the glass ceiling? She’s the anti-feminist!!! No choice, no equal pay, and look pretty!!! 

I’m truly hoping this just put the nail in the coffin of the Republican campaign.

deng linlin: fresh out of the womb

Deng Linlin: 4’5”, 68 lbs. I know gymnasts are inherently teeny, but really? I surpassed that size when I entered 2nd grade. Not discrediting her Olympic performance, but there’s no way that girl is a teenager. That sparkly eyeshadow ain’t fooling nobody, China.

See a video of the squirt after the jump.

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Preview of Tonight’s Nightmare

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt never cease to horrify. Their notorious photo sessions hit a new low yesterday, when shots of the pair posing with various guns were posted on Pacific Coast News. Spencie’s wardrobe choice of a backwards cap once again demonstrated his creative prowess. Call me un-American (talking to you, conservative uncle) but should everyone really have the right to bear arms?

See more photos, plus a video, here. Look at your own risk.

The Dinosaurs: Were Our Parents Negligent?

Seriously, WTF is this shit we watched as kids? I honestly recall watching this crack squad show routinely. I thought Baby Sinclair was hilarious and the mohawk dinosaur was hot. Yes, I thought a f-ing dinosaur was hot as a child. It must have been the letterjacket. That’s a whole ‘nother bucket o’ issues (that has since been resolved, mind you). Now he’d have to be toting a guitar.

Do I even bring up the monster that popped out from the kettle?

kindred spirit